Zion, UT: Is Glamping REALLY Worth It?
A Comically Catastrophic Glamping Trip to Zion National Park
When Denise and her girlfriends decided to embark on a spring break trip to Zion National Park, they envisioned a luxurious glamping experience filled with breathtaking views, delightful hikes, and cozy accommodations. Little did they know, their dream getaway would quickly devolve into a series of hilarious misadventures that would test their resilience and sense of humor.
The group booked their stay at the highly-acclaimed Under Canvas Zion, a glamping resort known for its upscale amenities and stunning location. With a price tag of $500 per night, expectations were high, and the women couldn't wait to indulge in a bit of outdoor luxury.
However, their excitement began to waver when they learned that a winter storm was set to hit the area during their visit. Undeterred, they reached out to Under Canvas, hoping to reschedule or receive a refund. To their dismay, the resort was unwilling to budge on their cancellation policy, assuring the group that they would have plenty of activities to enjoy in the main tent during inclement weather.
As the women arrived at the resort, the storm was already in full swing. They were greeted by a lackluster "activity" – a single sheet of trivia questions about national parks. Denise, who had been looking forward to a weekend of adventure and relaxation, found herself stifling her disappointment as she huddled in the main tent with her friends.
Their accommodations proved to be equally disappointing. Despite the resort's promises, the wood-burning stoves in their tents did little to combat the freezing temperatures. The women could see their breath as they tried to sleep, and even the $100 down pillows felt like blocks of ice.
Determined to make the most of their trip, the group decided to brave the elements and embark on a hike to Angel's Landing, one of Zion's most famous trails. However, their enthusiasm quickly turned to apprehension when they discovered that the hike was considered one of the most dangerous in the world, with a staggering 16 recorded deaths as of 2023.
Denise, who is deathly afraid of heights, found herself clinging to the side of the mountain, her Nordstrom puffer jacket and crappy tennis shoes providing little comfort or support. As she inched her way along the narrow path, she couldn't help but question her decision to embark on this treacherous journey.
Meanwhile, her friends Laurie and Ellie, both experienced hikers, forged ahead, leaving Denise and Amanda to bring up the rear. The two women took solace in each other's company, commiserating over the absurdity of their situation and the staggering $500 nightly price tag for their less-than-stellar accommodations.
As they made their way back down the mountain, Denise found herself slipping and sliding on the icy terrain, her Metcon shoes proving to be a poor choice for the conditions. She even had a close call with a fellow hiker, who graciously offered to catch her if she fell – a testament to the camaraderie among the hikers, even in the face of adversity.
Back at the resort, the women tried to find the humor in their situation. They filled out the trivia sheet, knowing full well that other guests were likely using their phones to cheat. Denise, in a moment of frustration, even considered boycotting the activity altogether.
Despite the challenges, the group managed to find moments of joy and laughter. They rented e-bikes and explored the park, marveling at the beauty of Zion and the delightful wildlife they encountered along the way. They even had a close encounter with a family of cows, complete with bells around their necks, right outside their tent – a surreal moment in an already bizarre trip.
As their weekend drew to a close, Denise reflected on the experience. While it was far from the luxurious glamping getaway they had envisioned, it was a trip they would never forget. The laughter, the tears, and the sheer absurdity of it all had bonded the women in a way that only a truly disastrous vacation could.
Upon returning home, Denise felt compelled to share her experience with others. She left a scathing one-star review of Under Canvas Zion, detailing their lack of preparation, disappointing amenities, and unwillingness to accommodate their guests during inclement weather.
To her surprise, the resort responded with a lengthy, defensive rebuttal, complete with an air of condescension. They insisted that the women had simply misunderstood the nature of the experience and that the resort was not responsible for the whims of Mother Nature.
Undeterred, Denise stood by her review, knowing that she had given an honest account of their experience. She hoped that her words would serve as a warning to other travelers considering a glamping trip to Zion, especially during the unpredictable winter months.
In the end, the women's disastrous glamping trip to Zion National Park had become a badge of honor – a story they would share with friends and family for years to come. It was a reminder that sometimes, the most memorable adventures are the ones that don't go according to plan, and that laughter and friendship can make even the most challenging situations bearable.
So, to all the intrepid travelers out there considering a glamping trip to Zion, take heed of Denise's tale. Pack your warmest gear, bring a sense of humor, and be prepared for anything. And if you find yourself huddled in a freezing tent, filling out a trivia sheet about national parks, just remember – you're making memories that will last a lifetime.
10 Fun Facts about Utah's National Parks:
1. Utah is home to five stunning national parks, often referred to as the "Mighty Five": Zion, Bryce Canyon, Capitol Reef, Canyonlands, and Arches.
2. Zion National Park is Utah's first national park, established in 1919, and is known for its towering sandstone cliffs and narrow slot canyons.
3. Bryce Canyon National Park boasts the largest concentration of hoodoos (tall, thin spires of rock) in the world, creating a unique and otherworldly landscape.
4. Capitol Reef National Park is named after the white domes of Navajo Sandstone that resemble the U.S. Capitol building, and is home to the Waterpocket Fold, a 100-mile long wrinkle in the earth's crust.
5. Canyonlands National Park is divided into four distinct districts: Island in the Sky, The Needles, The Maze, and the rivers that carved the park's stunning landscapes.
6. Arches National Park contains over 2,000 natural stone arches, including the iconic Delicate Arch, which is featured on Utah's license plates.
7. The Mighty Five national parks are home to an incredible diversity of flora and fauna, including over 600 species of wildflowers in Zion alone.
8. All five of Utah's national parks offer incredible stargazing opportunities due to their remote locations and minimal light pollution.
9. The Mighty Five are connected by some of America's most scenic drives, including the Zion-Mount Carmel Highway and the All-American Road: Scenic Byway 12.
10. Utah's national parks have served as filming locations for numerous movies and TV shows, including "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," "Thelma & Louise," and "Westworld."
10 Facts about Zion UT:
1. Zion National Park covers 229 square miles and features some of the tallest sandstone cliffs in the world, with some reaching heights of over 2,000 feet.
2. The park is home to the Virgin River, which carved the stunning Zion Canyon over millions of years.
3. Zion is home to three distinct ecosystems: desert, riparian, and coniferous forest, each supporting a unique array of plant and animal life.
4. The park's most famous hike, Angel's Landing, is a strenuous 5.4-mile round trip trail that offers breathtaking views of Zion Canyon from a narrow rock fin with steep drop-offs on either side.
5. Zion is also known for its incredible slot canyons, including the Narrows, which can be hiked through the Virgin River when water levels are low.
6. The park is home to over 1,000 plant species, including the rare Zion daisy, which is found nowhere else on Earth.
7. Zion is also a haven for wildlife, with 67 mammal species, 291 bird species, 37 reptile species, and 8 amphibian species.
8. The park's stunning red rock formations are primarily made of Navajo Sandstone, which is believed to have been deposited during the Jurassic period, around 150 million years ago.
9. Zion National Park boasts a rich human history, with evidence of human habitation dating back over 8,000 years, including the Ancestral Puebloan (Anasazi) and Paiute tribes.
10. In 2020, Zion National Park was the third most visited national park in the United States, with over 3.6 million visitors, despite temporary closures due to the COVID-19 pandemic.